


Sunflower in My Lung

by OldeShoestrings



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Dark Kaneki, M/M, Possessive Behavior, Protectiveness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-25
Updated: 2017-08-09
Packaged: 2018-12-06 21:06:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11608962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OldeShoestrings/pseuds/OldeShoestrings
Summary: Everything Kaneki did, he did it for the boy with golden hair and effervescent smile. No price was too high if it meant keeping his Sunflower safe.(Or Kaneki and Hide still met when they were children but Kaneki was not raised by his mother)





	1. Kaneki

**Author's Note:**

> Commissioned by [Plumptie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Plumptie)
> 
> Not beta. Not an English speaker.
> 
>  
> 
> _Aogiri tree is founded by Kanou first before he gives it to Eto later on. Kinda necessary for the story_

\--

**Kaneki**

Throughout his life, Kaneki hungered for a little touch of sunshine. Just a speck churning from the sunlight. A small field of boundless sunflowers. 

When he was a child, tiny fingers and short legs drenched in blood as he ran barefooted throughout the snow. Cheeks wet with rivers as he continued to sob. Then Kaneki fell; quick and painful against the wet floor. The pitiful whisper reiterated over and over in his head - _no more hurt_.

Kaneki made a fist with his hand and wiped at his tears. He told himself he would leave, told himself he would no longer return to Aogiri, and he told himself he would sooner die than to be used endlessly like a tethered sheep. 

And yet tiny feet could only carry him for so long. 

Kaneki hid in one of the dirty alleys, feet tucked close to his chest as he bit his nails until they turned red and his chin smeared with red nectar. He'd heal. All ghouls would. Even the artificial ones.

For a moment the thought to end his life consumed him. Him, a seven-year-old boy, running away from a group that took him in after he was orphaned by their very leader. Odd. Should he then? It'd be easy yes? Find an investigator? Go to CCG? They'd handle the rest, correct? Or just kill himself?

(Yes, it would be easy)

The human doctor was Aogiri’s shadow and he'd been nothing but a torment to Kaneki. But as mad as the physician was, Kanou had a morbid fascination for Eto.

Maybe he really did mean for Eto to lead Aogiri Tree in the nearest future. 

In the bubble of his silence, Kaneki heard soft footfalls ricocheting in the small alley. And then _he_ was there. Wide-eyed, curious. Looking at Kaneki as if the ghoul was anything but a trained murderer. 

_His_ smile was bright. Blinding. Like every part of _him_. 

(This part of his memory Kaneki remembered very well. It was the most precious memory of all)

“Aren't you cold?” the boy, Sunflower, asked. Kaneki remembered how kind his smile had been, draped in that too-big orange scarf and yellow jacket as his brown boots left small marks on the white carpeted floor. The snow had been merciless that night, Kaneki remembered this part too.

“Here, you can have mine. It'll keep you warm.”

Slowly, the human removed his orange scarf and let it fall around Kaneki’s neck like a protective charm. They were close. Kaneki took the opportunity to take a small whiff of the human child and for all the bright smiles and gentle fingers, the Sunflower’s scent was overwhelming. Morning dew and early summer day. The very essence of dawn itself. 

A scent from a human Kaneki had never smelt before, until now. Kaneki did not want to eat, did not want to hurt the Sunflower. 

(He wanted to know the Sunflower)

“Not cold anymore?” Sunflower asked him once he was done hiding Kaneki under his scarf. 

Kaneki knew this part. He remembered his answer then.

“No,” the child ghoul smiled. It was the first time for him to feel this tiniest touch of kindness. It was -- ahh, it was invigorating. Different from the mirth of snapping someone's bones.

The Sunflower sat next to Kaneki, taking both of his bare hands in the human’s gloved-hands and puffed a breath on the cold skin, rubbing them together to generate whatever heat the human child could muster.

Kaneki smiled at that. Too kind. Kaneki returned the gentle grip and Sunflower blinked, looked up and smiled shyly at Kaneki. The ghoul ingrained the view in his head, seared it like a map and put a watermark on it.

_Mine_

“Why are you here alone?” Sunflower asked, poking at Kaneki’s cheek. 

The boy deflated for a moment before his answer came with a hushed voice. “Home is… not nice. And I don't have friends there.” 

Kaneki liked the touch of solitude but he did not enjoy being lonely. 

“Oh,” Sunflower slumped, saddened. His bronze eyes fell on Kaneki, on their joined hands, and then back on the dark-haired boy once more. When all thoughts were finally drawn together, Sunflower grinned at Kaneki and ruffled the wet hair. 

“It's all right! We can be friends if you want.”

“W-we can?” Kaneki stuttered. 

“Yup,” Sunflower took Kaneki’s small finger in his and curled them together, swaying their pinkies in an innocent manner. Just two small kids making a promise. “I'll be your friend for as long as you want me to. I promise, okay?”

“Okay,” Kaneki nodded. The happiness he felt was equal to a rising dawn. 

At that moment, the desire was imminent, palpable and so outrageously raw that Kaneki wanted to let his kagune out and wrap them around the boy - just so he could keep him safe from the entire world. 

No one should have this but him. Kaneki swallowed the snarl, the thought of others touching what was meant to be his, meant to belong to him, even daring to look at the Sunflower--

Something to call as his.

But no. Not yet. Still too weak. Not strong enough to claim his Sunflower. To mark him. 

One day then.

For now, Kaneki leaned closer to the Sunflower, two children hiding in the abandoned alley as the sky gleamed with colorless petals. It was getting colder. The human needed to return home soon.

One day, he'd earn the right to learn Sunflower’s name.

Thinking back, Kaneki thought it had been a wise choice to let his Sunflower go. To take a human child with him back to Aogiri would certainly affirm the human’s death and Kaneki had an inkling it wouldn't be a slow and painless death. 

The thought of his Sunflower dying was enough to fuel the gnawing flame in his chest. Nothing could be allowed to harm the human. Kaneki would devour the entire world if it meant to keep Sunflower safe. 

And when the sky finally crept into the darkened horizon, they parted. Sunflower waved at him, he smiled brightly at Kaneki before he was gone, back to the much safer world.

Soured by the bitter farewell, Kaneki’s smile vanished when he could no longer see the back of his Sunflower’s yellow jacket. 

Kaneki tilted his head and allowed the string of question to plague him; how to become stronger?

Perhaps, he needed the Aogiri after all. Kanou would take him back. Kaneki was one of his favorite projects.

\--

This was his second favorite memory.

It took him a year, or two, or three and then he was under Aogiri’s thumb for a decade. The best they had to offer.

The most disreputable terrorist group managed to slither their influence outside of the 24th Ward. Now, under Eto's ruling, Aogiri had planted most of their roots, almost completely dominating Japan with their claws. 

A dysfunctional family filled with nothing but ghouls that glorified cannibalism and torture and slaughter despite their noble purpose to unify humans and ghouls. But which ghouls did not glorify slaughter?

Kaneki smiled slightly at that. All those killings had finally paid off. The Doves he devoured, killed and barely left alive to leave a message. Impressing Eto and cannibalizing the ghouls he grew up with.

Stronger and stronger until he could finally have his Sunflower back. Strong enough to keep Sunflower safe. For a decade long Kaneki had to step on the brewing desire to search for his Sunflower. 

One mistake would cost his Sunflower his life. Eto would know and it'd be for nothing because surely she'd want his Sunflower killed, too. Like the rest of his human friends. But they were of small consequence. They were nothing. Kaneki could suffer losing his temporary friends.

In the span of years, Kaneki rose to his desired rank. He was one of Eto’s most trusted allies. Kaneki stood with those who had taken him from his human life and turned him into a half-ghoul.

It didn't matter much. Kaneki liked being a man-eating creature. Half or not. He was alive as a monster than he was as a fragile human.

Kaneki remembered the part where he broke Ayato’s bones. He heard Touka screaming behind him, hurling threats and insults and then she was there, barreling after him and sending volleys of attack against him. Kaneki deflected them without any weight.

Her kagune was like a pair of bloodied wings waxed with red diamonds. They were beautiful, like Ayato's. He told Touka just as much.

She stopped for a moment as rage quietly began to envelop her smaller frame. Kaneki’s lips curled upward. The ever precious Kirishima siblings. The Doves slaughtered their parents and Eto took them in. They were Kaneki’s friends for so long. 

And friends broke each other’s bones to elicit a painful scream from their raw throat. Touka and Ayato had never enjoyed the game. Ghouls healed and Kaneki had no desire to kill Ayato. There would have been no lasting damage. 

“Leave my brother alone, Centipede!”

“That's harsh, Touka. You know I don't like to be called that,” Kaneki jutted his bottom lip forward in a mocking manner. “Besides, we were just playing. Right, Ayato?”

Under his boot, Ayato cursed. “Fuck you, half ass.”

“See?” Kaneki smiled at the girl. “We're fine.”

“I don't care. _Now move away from him_.” 

Her ukaku flared behind her. Touka would kill for her brother and Kaneki never really did have any intention to kill anyone on that fine evening. Especially when the bronze sunlit littering in the sky reminded him of his beloved Sunflower. 

So Kaneki acquiesced. He removed his foot from Ayato's head, heard the boy groan before Kaneki walked away with all the grace he could muster as he took his place at Eto’s side. Touka would tend to her brother.

The authoress had been watching, had been waiting for him. Ever so sweet and kind.

(Never as sweet and kind as his Sunflower)

After Kanou left to expand his studies for his research and left Aogiri to Eto, her sadistic streaks became unruly. Unparalleled. 

Or maybe it had something to do with Noro’s death. It didn't matter to Kaneki. 

“You've grown so beautifully,” Eto said. Her voice was like a lullaby. A far away wish, a string of music in a child’s dream. So disgusting, Kaneki thought. 

And he still chuckled. An affection in his voice. Regardless of what, Eto was like a dear sister to him. 

“And I'm still growing,” Kaneki teased. Almost shyly. He tightened his eyepatch. 

Eto hummed. She skipped along the pavement. Then she stopped. Kaneki mimicked her, waiting for whatever his mistress wished to say. 

“One day, we might become strong enough to topple the CCG completely,” she intoned happily. There was a childish mirth in her voice. “And after that, maybe little by little, we can turn all humans as our cattle or pets, whichever is good. But then again, we shouldn't be playing with our food.”

Kaneki softly replied with a curt nod. For all her talk about peace, Eto couldn’t possibly see humans as anything but sustenance. Pitiful. She began walking again and as always, Kaneki followed her like a loyal dog. He was her Shield, in the end. It was his duty to shadow her, protect her. 

Such a shame that _someone_ had dropped a hint of Noro’s whereabouts to the CCG, which caused him to be ambushed by Doves and mercilessly killed. Kaneki almost grinned at that. 

“Ken?”

“Hmm?”

“You know I love you, right?” 

Kaneki smiled at her. “Of course, I'm quite aware of it. With all of my heart.”

Eto always seemed amused by his affection. As if she could trace something wrong with him and whatever it was, it appeared to make her very proud.

This one thing here was something Kaneki couldn't possibly forget.

“When I said ‘ _all humans_ ’, I meant all the humans. No exception,” Eto said.

Kaneki stopped and blinked at her. “All of them?”

“Yes, something wrong?” Now, there was an odd glint in her eyes. Something Kaneki had never seen she wore before. 

“No, I just-- even the innocent ones? The children? You would enslave them too?”

“Kaneki,” she tiptoed and caressed his cheek. Kaneki leaned into her touch, sighing in content. “Your kindness is unnecessary. I want to create the world where all the ghouls can be free from slaughter. No longer we need to hide from prying eyes. We don't need to be cruel to humans, only strict.”

For a moment, Kaneki had to restrain himself from strangling her. His kindness was the only reason why he hadn't killed her. He wouldn't have the heart to deliver a fatal blow. For that reason alone, she should be praising his affection for her, not to use it to dampen him.

Kaneki inhaled to calm himself down. 

But all humans? Innocent lives mattered very little to him. Kaneki would try not to involve innocent humans and ghouls in their affairs but if it was a must, he was more than willing to sacrifice them.

It was the thought of his Sunflower hurting and bleeding that rose the sense of dread in Kaneki’s throat, almost suffocating him. _All humans_ meant his Sunflower, too.

Kaneki never wanted that for his Sunflower. Kaneki wanted to give his Sunflower the world in which he could live without having to worry about anything else, a home where Sunflower could bloom and smile and tuck himself in Kaneki’s protective arms.

The world where his Sunflower would have no one else to depend on but Kaneki. 

Eto had promised to leave the humans alone. Doves were the only ones they'd hunt.

No. This wouldn't do.

Nothing could jeopardize his Sunflower’s safety.

Kaneki would drown the world aflame for him.

\--

He was nineteen. 

Kaneki sat on the throne where Eto used to occupy. Dark mahogany chair soiled by blood and ruthless ruling. 

At his side, Tsukiyama stared at him as if Kaneki had put the stars in his very sky. That was fine. A loyal follower was almost impossible to come by these days.

Kaneki crossed his legs, elbows on the armrests as he tried to get used to the feeling of becoming a King. 

Eto had been a painful sacrifice, a necessary death and yet it still pained him to cannibalized her like that. Despite everything, Kaneki thought he must have had genuinely loved her once upon a time. 

And even when she was dying, Eto was laughing as Kaneki gut her open and tore her kagune apart. 

“My King,” Tsukiyama said. 

Kaneki smiled at him. “Spare anyone who's loyal to my cause. The others, we kill.”

Kaneki stood and in front of him were the only ones he dared to place his faith on.

Surprisingly, the Kirishima siblings were part of the circle. Even young Hinami was there, smiling gently at him. Kaneki only ever felt affection for this young girl. Kaneki believed he could only ever easily kill sweet Hinami off if it meant to keep Kaneki’s precious Sunflower safe and happy. 

If not, she was a little sister to him.

“Aogiri is completely abolished and dismantled. From henceforth, we are known as Goat.”

_In honor of you, Eto._

At his furthest side, Ayato grinned at his sister. Apparently, the animosity he had harbored at the snow-white haired ghoul was forgotten when Kaneki made Ayato their primary hunter. Banjou nodded at Kaneki, acceptance in his gaze. Yomo said nothing. His stare vacant.

“Let's just try to be a simple family, yes? Lessen the killing.”

Young as Hinami might be, even she knew Kaneki hadn't meant every word he had just said.

No one was fooled by the Centipede’s gentle smile. And yet the newly formed family would be more than willing to die for the Monster’s cause. Their loyalty to him was without an end. 

Behind their One-Eyed King, Tsukiyama sighed in a suppressed bliss. Proud to finally serve his beloved master. Kanae stared at him with a pitiful admiration. 

Touka hoped they didn't just unleash something monstrous onto the world.

\--

At twenty, Kaneki found that living as a ghoul was rather enjoyable but he did miss being a human. 

So he involved himself in human business, dubbing himself as Haise Sasaki. It was a sine qua non for his work to ensure he could integrate himself amidst his human peers.

As Haise Sasaki, he acted as (a human) an unlawful broker who incorporated himself in underworld crime. Truthfully, ghoul trafficking and racketeering had been ones of the lesser evils Kaneki had involved himself with. It was beneficial for his family. 

The fortune he'd earned from his métier was enough to bolster Goat’s forces. 

(He left bread crumbs whenever he could to lead people astray) 

As the One-Eyed King, Kaneki invoked the practice of enforcing his people to feed off of ghouls more than humans. He'd met with resistance from his own people but Kaneki was more resilient than he was merciful. 

If it was one of the efficient ways to conceal their roots from CCG, then Kaneki was willing to make the essential sacrifice to protect his legacy and those he cared about. 

Besides, 24th Ward was the only home he ever knew even when it was buried deep underground and a league away from the heat of the sun. 

Hinami used to say how Kaneki’s definition of the sun was different from anyone else. Her words rang true.

Sun for Kaneki, was the slipping thoughts of his Sunflower early in the morning before Kaneki began his day. Sun was the orange scarf Kaneki kept hidden from the rest of the world, tucked securely in his room. Sun was the familiar scent of morning dew and early summer. 

Sun for Kaneki was gentle fingers and warm breath.

\--

Touka trailed after him. Her eyes glimmered with thick amusement. Kaneki did not begrudge her. Years later and he still couldn't fix his tie and Touka had no wish whatsoever to assist him. Always the kind of person who enjoyed watching him squirm with disdain. 

In her hand, she held up a photo as she followed him when Kaneki made a sharp turn. His fingers tightened around the tie.

“Who's this one?”

Kaneki hissed when he accidentally ripped the black tie. He craned his head to look over his shoulder. 

The picture depicted an image of a large woman with heavy makeup and dark sunglasses. Her smile crooked as if she enjoyed being revered by every eye on her.

“That's Big Madam. Affiliated herself with Ghoul Restaurant and is involved in human tracking for approximately eleven years. 7th Ward is supposedly her domain and she holds the major influence there. Big Madam also keeps humans as her pets or something like that,” Kaneki said, voice monotonous. 

“ _Something like that_?” Touka intoned, obviously annoyed. “Kaneki, you can't take this lightly. These ghouls are your possible adversaries. But if you play your cards right, they might also become your acquaintances.”

Kaneki stopped on his track. His fingers limped around the tie and he could feel Touka at his side instantly, waiting for him to deliver his speech. Or maybe an argument. 

“I'm not here to make friends with the other groups, Touka. I'm here to heal the world. To rid all the wrong.”

If the world continued to be wrong, then Kaneki couldn't give his Sunflower the world free of odious monsters. Everything Kaneki did, he did it for his utmost beloved. 

Touka glared at him. Kaneki returned it with his usual smile. Perhaps in another lifetime, he'd have taken her as his wife but in this lifetime, Kaneki only ever craved his Sunflower. It could not be anyone but him.

“Why are you trying so hard? You go around killing anyone that doesn't share your belief. You're not making a change, you just do whatever you want because you think you fucking can. Killing, bribing, blackmailing, torturing, laundering-- you used to be better than this,” she bristled, “You can't clean the entire fucking world. That's just impossible.”

Kaneki could tell Touka wanted to shout at him but it had been years and now she could at least control her temper. Still, the red in her eyes never diminished. 

“I can, Touka, and I will.”

No price was too high for his Sunflower.

\--

At twenty-two, Kaneki had all the Wards in the palms of his hands. 

In his wake, he left bodies and flames and bloodied roads behind him. And soon enough, the CCG would succumb to him, too. He just needed time and patience. One by one until all monsters turned to dust.

People knew his symbol; a decapitated goat head with two centipedes encircled around the goat’s broken horns.

And it didn't take too much effort to instill fear in anyone when his roots had stretched far enough to encompass the world with dark vines. 

\--

When all strings finally wrapped around his fingers, Kaneki began his search for his Sunflower.

Surely he was strong enough to keep his Sunflower safe. Worthy enough to claim him. Cruel enough to devour anyone who dared to whisk Kaneki’s Sunflower away from him.

_It'll be all right. I'm coming for you._

\--


	2. Hideyoshi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (If he had ignored the lost boy in that dark alley, would everything be different for him?)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not beta. Not an English speaker.

\--

**Hideyoshi**

Hide spent most of his morning watering the small pots of flowers. Despite Koma’s complaint (of the flowers not needing too much water), Hide would still slide a few excuses to contradict Koma’s protest. 

“There's no such thing as too much love! Just ask Irimi!”

“There is if you keep sprinkling those poor petals with water,” Koma huffed. There was a small hint of amusement in the way his eyes were following him. “You've been at it for hours. Leave those flowers alone and help me in the kitchen.”

Hide sighed. He put the spray bottle down and blew a kiss at his small flowers, earning a low chuckle from the ghoul. 

“You're ridiculous.”

“You love me anyway,” Hide tightened the knots of his white apron before following the other man. 

Truth be told, Koma was the better pastry chef between the two of them. Even better at making coffee, that much was true. Probably more so than Irimi. But Koma’s sense of smell as a ghoul had always been the catalyst prevented him from discerning the scent of human dishes. 

The vanilla extract could smell good, or it could probably smell like a burning charcoal. Koma would never know that. And somehow, it never dampened his love for baking. 

Hide had admired that about him. 

In the kitchen, Hide’s usual station was filled with more decorations than usual. The blond blinked, throwing a curious look at the other and stared blankly as Koma languidly walked around the kitchen, humming a tune or two.

“Erm, what's the occasion? Are we making more macarons than usual? Or are we planning for biscuits? Cupcakes maybe?”

“Yes,” Koma answered, filling the white icing into the piping bag.

“Yes? Yes, what?” Hide asked. He moved around the corner and stood in front of the marble counter to prepare the dough.

“Yes to all. Maybe.”

His smile was crooked with his teeth shown and Hide instantly knew Koma was teasing him again. Probably wouldn't even get his answer, which was fine. It wasn't the first time everyone at the pâtisserie tried to leave him out of their loop. He was used to it. 

Some things were just too perilous to involve himself with.

Yoshimura had done more than enough when he offered the boy a home above the pâtisserie. Far away from his parents. Hide wouldn't want to ruin anything for the old man now.

Hide unbuttoned his sleeves and carefully rolled them to his elbows. In the spotless kitchen where he was surrounded by nothing but baking utensils, Hide felt utmost at ease.

\--

There was a loud creak from the mahogany door. Followed by quick footsteps. Hide didn't bother to look up as he continued to knead the dough, effortlessly thrusting out his left hand to make a swift grab at the small container filled with pink cream. 

Blue cupcakes with pink decoration were good and simple but today he wanted to at least try to lessen the use of sugar. Sugar-free cupcakes weren't really a thing at their shop so the least he could do was--

“ _He's here_.”

A whisper so low it almost resembled a hiss. Hide blinked and looked up. His vision was blocked by a stack of baking pans but Hide still could spot Irimi leaning closer to Koma. Her eyes creased into almost a glare.

Koma looked stricken. Worried. Angry even before he slowly regained his once lost composure. Hide was bemused by these waves of emotions he rarely saw on the ghoul’s face. Koma was basically the epitome exuberance. Not displeasure.

Odd.

_“What do you mean he's here? He never comes to the shop. Ever.”_

_“He's here now and the manager isn't too happy about it.”_

_“Yeah, after what he did to the manager's daugh-”_

Both of the ghouls ceased their bickering when they spotted Hide lurking closer to them. It was pointless by now to pretend he’d heard nothing. Though the boy would prefer not to intrude, his curiosity lit up like a flare and both Irimi and Koma understood him well enough to know Hide wouldn't just live it down.

“What's wrong? Who's here?”

“It's-” Irimi sighed. Her eyes were momentarily close. When she opened them again, she just looked tired and resigned. “Just the manager’s…old friend. It's nothing for you to worry about, okay?”

“Are they a ghoul, too?”

“Oh yeah,” Koma chuckled. His hands covered in flour. “One hell of a nasty ghoul.”

Hide could hear the warning transparently; _stay away_. And well, Hide had learned one significant lesson after living with parents who would rather bruise him than to raise him; sometimes it was better to keep his head down.

He'd do just that. 

“Why don't you go home. Don't you have school stuff to do?” Irimi supplied kindly. 

“You mean _a mountain of assignments_ ,” Hide emphasized, exasperated. 

His classed even started early tomorrow. Hide cursed but he stopped once he surveyed his surrounding. He hadn't put the sprinkles on the cupcakes yet.

In front of him, Irimi rolled her eyes fondly. “I'll decorate your cupcakes and macarons for you. Your shift is almost over anyway.”

“You guys know I live a floor above the pâtisserie, right?”

“With the loud, awful music you blare every morning when you're not working? It's hard not to notice, kid.”

“How dare you! My taste in music is as exotic as my inner beauty!”

Koma bit his lower lip before he let out a soft laugh.

Hide smiled at that. At least Koma didn't appear as if he wanted to maul a bear anymore. 

Perhaps it was time to leave.

Hide removed his apron and made a way to the sink to wash his hand. When he was done, Hide grabbed his small orange duffel and waved at the ghouls, pushing the door slightly ajar and peering at the now empty cafe. 

No customers. Did Yoshimura decide to momentarily close Anteiku?

Didn't matter. He was tired and in need of a long sleep-

“Oh, Hideyoshi. Your shift is over?” Yoshimura beamed warmly at the human, standing next to their coffee station. The old man wasn't fooling anyone with his actions. His shoulders were taut and there was a veiled anger in the way he brought his person.

“Yeah,” Hide chanced a glance at the person sitting on the oak stool next to Yoshimura. A mug of coffee in his hands. _White hair and an eyepatch?_

“I'm going to my room actually. Definitely not going out tonight since I have to drown myself in books,” the human flashed a grin at the old man.

“Very well then. I'll see you tomorrow.”

Hide nodded. Despite everything, being around Yoshimura was kind of comforting. Like a tinge of safe haven.

“Yoshimura.” 

The snow-haired man interrupted them. Slow and sensual, enunciating the old man’s name as if the voice was skinning its opponent alive. 

Hide ducked and made a quick beeline towards the stairs, avoiding the duo. He was just eager to be far away.

He did not look back when Yoshimura finally addressed the other man. Their voices low.

“I told you before, Kaneki. You're no longer welcome here. You've taken enough from me.”

“And as I've previously informed you before, I'd have done it any other way if your daughter hadn't made things quite personal.”

“Personal? You took my daughter from me-”

“You gave her up.” A chuckle. “Besides, she didn't care about you.”

“It didn't matter. I loved her.”

“Listen, Yoshimura, I didn't come here to--”

The voice stopped. It was eerily quiet. It was then Hide realized he'd stopped halfway on the stairs. Hand on the wooden handrail as he attempted to listen in. That was--- an abuse of trust. The blond shouldn't have done. It was obvious his manager didn’t want Hide there during his talk with this Kaneki.

“Something wrong?” Yoshimura’s voice broke the silence. 

“No, I… the human just now-”

Hide’s brows furrowed. He was hoping Eyepatch wouldn’t even notice his presence. Oh well. The blond sighed. Hide resumed his walk to his room. 

“Kaneki,” Yoshimura gravely called out. 

Hide ignored the heavy footfalls resonating behind him. Instead, he hummed an old pop music. Ignorant of how Yoshimura tried to make a grab at their visitor, of the familiar voices of Irimi and Koma speaking in the background and of the approaching figure desperately trailing after him. 

The human was almost at the top of the stairs when he felt a pair of arms circling around his waist and lifting the boy up without barely any struggle. His captor turned the blond around, his hands on Hide’s hips. The blond uttered a yelp as he was raised from the ground.

“Put him down, Kaneki!”

Hide was flailing in an incoherent mess. He just couldn't find his equilibrium with his feet dangling in the air. Someone made a careful motion to steady the human by putting their hand under his bottom and around his waist, ever so gently hoisting Hide up as if they wanted to get a clear view of his whole features. 

Hide put his arms around the person’s neck to keep himself still even though the gesture might just embarrass him. He was, after all, just locked himself in a very intimate state with the stranger who was holding him up.

“Umm…” Hide began awkwardly. 

The ghoul - Kaneki - hid his face in the crook of Hide’s neck, sniffing the scent vigorously. He made no indication to stop when Kaneki brushed his nose along Hide’s cheek and ever so slowly to the boy’s ear, licking the skin there as if he was a starving beast. When he pulled away, Kaneki desperately concealed his face in the mess of golden locks.

Hide shivered at that. Face flushed.

What? What's going on?

“Kaneki, put him down _now_.”

“Hide! Are you hurt?”

Hide wanted to answer them. Especially Koma and a frantic Irimi. 

The manager tried to appear calm despite the crease between his brows.

No one wanted to start a bloodbath if they could avoid it.

Kaneki was caging Hide in his arms. And for someone who looked fragile, Kaneki had it in him a strength equal to that of a monster. 

“Hide. _Hide Hide Hide_. That’s your name.”

It was Kaneki who murmured his name, finally looking up to study the blond’s face. Reverently. Lovingly. Desperately. Like every curve on Hide’s face was the very jewel Kaneki had been seeking for. There were tears in his unsealed eye. They did not fall and they were not tears of misery.

At that moment, Hide felt as if he'd seen this white-haired creature from somewhere before. And yet it couldn't be. Hide would remember meeting someone with hair as pale as winter and whose existence was as dangerous as a darkened forest. He would remember. 

Behind them, Yoshimura and the rest were on edge, their eyes flickered between the two but none dared to initiate an assault. They wouldn't risk his safety just to separate him from the dangerous ghoul, Hide was aware of this.

“Can you please let me go?” Hide asked quietly. _You're scaring me._

Kaneki shook his head. His sobs gradually grew louder. He hid his face again in the strands of golden locks. 

“I can't. Don't want to.”

“Why not?”

“Been searching for you. Always want to see you again. And you _promised_. We're…we're friends, aren't we?”

Hide blinked. He couldn't remember making such a promise to anyone but even so, Kaneki didn't look like as if he was trying to fool Hide. Didn't look like he was lying to gain something from him. More than anything, Kaneki’s expression was the very reflection of a man addicted to something he couldn't possibly hope to forget and let go.

“I-I can't remember, Kaneki. I'm sorry. But you can try to jog my memory or something? Maybe I'll remember it, yes?” Hide carefully offered.

Koma made a move to intrude. Hide hastily sent him a warning look. The ghoul paused, looking dissatisfied, only to chasten down when the manager gave him a withering glance. One wrong move and they'd have to deal with a dangerous ghoul.

(Truthfully, Hide couldn't imagine Kaneki hurting even a fly. The man looked so docile and harmless)

“I…” Kaneki muttered, staring down at the floor. Then he very tenderly put Hide down. Not even a handbreadth away between them when Kaneki moved his left hand to pull his eyepatch off.

“It's okay,” Kaneki said, noticing Hide’s concern look. He kissed Hide’s forehead with a shy tenderness. Hide stammered. Unsure how to act. “I would never hurt you, Hide. Never you.”

(Hide didn’t believe that even for a moment)

The human didn't get a chance to retaliate when he found himself staring at an incomplete kakugan. It bled dark and red, blinking dazedly at him.

“One-eyed?” Hide rasped. He'd never seen a one-eyed ghoul before. Somehow the occurrence fascinated him more than it should have frightened him. “What does that mean?”

“Oh. Well, you see,” Kaneki flushed. Slowly he glared at nothingness before that anger morphed into a tint of sorrow. He looked at Hide again and the previous gentleness found its way home once more.

Hide frowned. 

(He could never tell what the ghoul was thinking or feeling. Kaneki’s emotions and heart were all over the place. Scattered like broken pendulums)

“I’m sure you’ve heard of Aogiri before,” Kaneki began, caressing his cheek against Hide’s ear.

The human just nodded uncomfortably. He’d also heard how Aogiri was mysteriously disbanded. No conclusion whatsoever was ever made by CCG.

“So...urm...the Aogiri used to take people to turn them into artificial ghouls. On a rare occasion, they'd take young kids. I was one of those children,” Kaneki traced Hide’s lips with his thumb. Momentarily entranced by the softness of it.

“I was **unmade**. Altered from inside out like a decayed meat and it hurt a lot but I-- I became better. Stronger. _Hungrier_. I used to hate it though. So I ran away from Aogiri when I was a child.”

The manager cast his eyes elsewhere. Hide wondered why.

“But then- then you found me, Hide.”

The blond quickly looked at the ghoul. His brows knitted. When? When did he find Kaneki?

Kaneki noted the flicker of confusion from the blond. His eyes were soft when he answered Hide’s silent question.

“You found me in the small alleyway where most people would just pass by. You stopped and you were so very kind, Hide. _So so_ warm. You were so beautiful there and I just wanted to take you away.”

_Here, you can have mine. It'll keep you warm_

No way. The coincidence was too frightening to even think about it. The memory of the poor small boy he'd found years ago. Hide often times found himself wondering if the boy was somewhere safe and content. If he was filled with nothing but tiny smiles and chest filled multi-colored happiness.

“You're that lost boy.” The piece snapped into its slot. Hide was feverish with both genuine joy and an unrefined terror. Joy, the lost boy was safe. Terror, to see what Kaneki had become. 

It did not, however, stop Hide from looking at Kaneki with childish awe. 

Kaneki returned the sentiment tenfold. 

“Yes.”

Kaneki embraced him. Arms around the golden boy like roots spiraling from the ground. It kept Hide in Kaneki’s protective hold, caging him there so tight Hide was desperate for a small quota of air.

Kaneki pampered him with soft kisses. His nose, his cheeks, his eyes, his chin, his forehead and his neck. The ghoul deliberately skipped Hide’s cold lips. Perhaps Kaneki had planned to claim his lips some other time. Hide was scared of that notion simply because he did not think he'd want there to be another time.

Not when this white-haired ghoul’s eyes roamed all over him as if he was a celestial being to be captured and hidden away from the rest of the world.

“Hide,” Kaneki hummed, desirous. Greedy. Crazed. _“Will you please be mine until my life is completely extinguished?_

\--

Days later found him away from Anteiku with Yoshimura dragging him across the busy street. The old ghoul was void of his usual tranquilized composure and gentle manner when he barged into Hide’s room that morning and told the boy to pack his things. Hide complied reluctantly.

And now,

“Manager, where-”

“You need to leave 20th Ward. Go somewhere else. And don't stay in one place for too long. He'll find you, he'll scent you out and he won't ever stop looking for you. Not Kaneki Ken.”

“Then it's all the more reason for me to stay!”

The crowds were like waves in the ocean. They were loud and mindless of their surrounding. Hide bumped a few people. Yoshimura didn't bother to stop to let Hide straighten himself. 

His grip was getting painful. 

“You want to stay? You want to become his whore? His prisoner? He will love you but you will not love his love. I know Kaneki and I know even monsters avoid him.”

No. No. But leaving meant Hide had to turn his back against his family. Leaving meant Kaneki would burn Anteiku to the ground, along with Yoshimura, Irimi, and Koma just for sending him away. Leaving meant not coming back to the only place he'd ever call his home. 

Hide knew what Kaneki wanted to do to him. 

Kaneki had whispered it to him so lovingly. Kaneki wanted to leave him bare, wanted Hide to sprawl and spread beneath him, wanted to be inside the human and fill Hide full with his essence. But above all else, Kaneki wanted to break him until nothing was left but Hide’s desperate love for the ghoul. 

Kaneki wanted Hide’s world to revolve around nothing but the ghoul himself. Kaneki wanted Hide to love and worship only him.

_’Should I break your legs, Hide? So you'd crawl to no one else but me.’_

_‘Please don’t make me hurt you, Hide. I don’t want to. Don’t want to.’_

_‘Someone else you love, Hide? Should I burn them? Eat them? Skin them? Hide, why wouldn't you love only me?’_

_‘Please please please, Hide- I would never hurt you.’_

_‘ **Look at me** , Hide. Don’t you dare turn your face away from me._’

No. He would never want something like that And yet, how about his family?

“Stop thinking, boy. Just run and hide. Do you understand?” 

“I can't. I can't leave you and the rest like this.” 

Hide almost begged. He knew it wouldn't matter because once Yoshimura had made up his mind, it was impossible to sway him. Still, Hide had to try. 

All around them, Hide could feel eyes on him, following his every step. Whispering his name in his ears like an old lullaby.

“I can keep them safe, Hideyoshi. I may be old but my bones are still strong.”

They stopped in front of an overcrowded train station. Hide’s hand tightened on his duffel when Yoshimura finally released his hold on the human’s wrist. When he turned around to face the boy, his smile was there, tired and sad.

“I can only do very little against the Centipede himself. But if I can at least give you your safety, then I wish for you to have it.”

“I don't want to leave,” Hide grounded bitterly. Let Kaneki come. He'd find a way to fight back, to fool the ghoul. He was a human but Hide was not naive and blind when it came to ghouls.

“If you stay, he'd come and he'd take you away. Are you asking me to let him do as he wishes to you? No, Hideyoshi. You must leave.”

“You said so yourself; Kaneki has his claws everywhere. How am I supposed to stay away from him?”

“You're smarter than most. Curious. Resourceful. Willful. I know you'll think of something.”

The manager put his hand on the blond's shoulder, his eyes downcast. Hide had always seen him as someone capable, strong even. It just occurred to him the person he looked up to was also a man with weary bones in his skin. Yoshimura had seen enough in his life. Had lost too much.

It was the more reason why he shouldn't leave. Kaneki would not take kindly to Yoshimura taking Hide away from the mad ghoul. He could maybe, just maybe, make a bargain with Kaneki. Leave Anteiku alone, spare everyone else. 

And then what?

“Just go, boy. I didn't pick you up from the street just to see you wither away in the hands of a ghoul. Do this one last thing for me, will you?”

Hide opened his mouth to protest, halted, and nodded weakly. 

Yoshimura smiled lightly at him. He backed away from Hide and gradually disappeared from the blond’s sight as waves of people claimed him.

Hide had never felt lonelier. He remembered Koma’s fierce hug and Irimi’s heavy gaze and knew that if he stepped away from his only home now, he'd probably never see them again. 

(If he had ignored the lost boy in that dark alley, would everything be different for him?)

Hide shifted on his feet and dragged himself towards the entrance of the station. Where would he go? To which Ward? The1st Ward where the CCG was located at?

Probably the best choice for now. 

Hide huffed. One thing at a time. 

The breeze whirled boundlessly around him like a glacier. Hide was an optimistic person by default but the sharp chill in his bones was alarming. 

There were eyes everywhere. Watching and sniffling him. Aware where he'd be, what he'd do next. Listening to his heartbeat. 

Whatever game Kaneki was playing, Hide didn't wish to be apart of it.

_Break your prey’s spirit first._

_Then break their bones._

_Leave them hungry, desperate for your kindness._

A distance away, an incomplete kakugan trailed after the golden human. Silver strands fell all around his face. A small laugh echoed like an old promise. 

_Where will the little bunny go?_

\--


	3. Others

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “And why not? Don't you want to be completely mine?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not beta. Not an English speaker.

\--

**Touka**

For all the rush of simplicity in the morning, Touka felt as if the breeze was a miasma, incendiary flame doused into the sky. And yet here she was despite the heat, at Kaneki’s side as her king watched the human with sun-kissed hair from afar.

Touka sat next to Kaneki, legs crossed with her back against the bench. Around them, the humans scattered and roamed like senseless animals. 

Kaneki smiled sweetly as his gentle, protruding gaze lingered on the blond. Nagachika Hideyoshi. Kaneki’s precious Sunflower. A name the One-Eyed King wistfully worshipped with a flowery tune. Kaneki’s ever source of obsession.

“Are you done? We've been tailing after your human for hours. I'm getting bored following you around,” Touka said, half-hearted. She wouldn't have had the need to guard Kaneki. The One-Eyed King was more than capable of protecting himself. 

It was only a matter of protocol. 

But in the end, what she wanted would have mattered very little. Kaneki would always have the last laugh. If he wanted her to stay, she'd stay and it'd be for the reason that she'd never go against her king’s wish.

(If Kaneki wanted Touka to cut her tongue and burn herself, she'd cut her tongue and burn herself. It was a simple equation. No hesitation)

“Not yet,” Kaneki muttered. He cracked his fingers. One after another. “I do miss watching Hide, you know? He makes this cutest squint whenever he thinks he's being watched-- oh, there! He did it again!” Kaneki chuckled. Eyes warm and glazed with fondness. 

Touka sighed, utterly irked. Kaneki missed his human? Even when the ghoul stalked after him for every single torturous day? 

She followed Kaneki’s gaze, observing the seemingly tired human. 

Nagachika looked rather skittish. Even in the crowd, his attempt to appear as small as possible was just pathetic. Especially when he looked exhausted to the very nook of his bones. Frame thin and eyes darkened, trying to reclaim his sangfroid that was clearly no longer there.

Nagachika mumbled occasionally. More to himself than anyone else, tapping his fingers against his thighs with barely any stability in his action.

It was picturesque. 

Kaneki had been stalking Nagachika for nearly three months now and there was never a moment of respite for the blond. Always moving from one location to another in less than two days. Never forming a relationship to avoid attachment. And always so distrustful of everything around him, not knowing what or who to trust anymore. 

Personally, she thought Nagachika was being ridiculous.

Kaneki would never hurt him. All the king ever desired was to court the human properly. Nagachika had the gall to refuse such privilege.

Ungrateful human.

“Touka?”

“Yeah?”

Kaneki smiled at that sight of Hide scurrying away like a kicked puppy, using the crowds to his advantage to shadow himself from prying eyes. “Do you think Hide’s tears taste wonderful?”

Touka tilted her head, thinking. 

In front of them, Nagachika was no longer in their line of view. Didn't matter, Kaneki could easily retrace the boy as always. 

“How the fuck should I know? You're the one who gets off from the thought of making him cry.”

The white-haired ghoul laughed. “Touka, that's cruel! I just thought Hide would look lovely in tears. But I'm sure he'll look just as lovely when I finally make him wail like a darling little whore.”

Touka rolled her eyes. “Watch your fucking language, asshole.”

Kaneki’s only answer was another gibberish description of him spoiling his beloved Hide with his genuine love. Of drowning his Hide with kisses and sweet promises. Of Kaneki chaining the human to his bed just so he could mark the blond properly.

Being in love had morphed Kaneki into the vilest creature. It was lovely.

“I'll take him out to the most luxurious restaurant, Touka. I'll break both of Hide’s legs and arms so he can only crawl to me. I'm going to take him out to see the fireworks, I bet Hide would love them. Maybe I should scar Hide’s entire body so no one dares to look at him but me. I just… I just love him so much, Touka,” Kaneki whispered. 

The female ghoul did not doubt that.

The affection in Kaneki’s voice was soft, so precariously shaken it almost didn't sound like the mad king himself. If Nagachika was the sun, then Kaneki was the golden urn who longed to possess the sun’s brightness all for himself. 

“You'll get your human, Kaneki. Just keep courting his ungrateful ass.”

(If only Nagachika knew it was never a game of hide-and-seek)

Kaneki always knew where the human would be. There was no place on earth where Nagachika could simply outrun and hide away from the One-Eyed King. Kaneki Ken would eventually turn the human’s sanity to dust and rust once he finally had Nagachika in his arms.

_Your time is getting shorter and shorter, human._

**Nishiki**

The human’s eyes were bereft of its usual light. 

Nagachika was spouting nonsense, hiding his whole frame in Kimi’s arms. Just a hunching figure as he tried to calm himself. His fingers clawed against his arms, leaving red lines across the pale skin. 

He was too thin, too weak, too frail. There was fear in the way Hideyoshi spoke. A lingering tightness in his chest - of how he observed his surrounding as if he was expecting something to jump from the darkness. 

Nishiki may treat the boy unfairly but to see the blond breaking down so pitifully only garnered nothing but concern from the ghoul.

Kimi gently shushed the boy in her embrace, throwing a hopeless glance at Nishiki. Kimi wouldn't find the answer from him. He was just as equally confused as his lover. 

“H-he was there-- I knew he was! _It felt dirty_. His eyes were eyes on me when I was bathing, sleeping, eating-- like he was breathing all over me,” Nagachika sobbed, biting the insides of his cheeks. 

Kimi brushed the golden hair from the moist forehead, looking down to meet the traumatized boy. “Who is he, Hideyoshi?”

Nagachika didn't look up. He didn't dare to meet anyone's eyes. He crept back into the couch, holding on to Kimi’s thin arms as if she was a lantern in the night. “I'm not saying his name.”

“Hideyoshi, if you won't tell us his name, Nishiki and I can't help you-”

“You can't help me. I don’t think anyone can. He's everywhere.” At this, Nagachika pulled his knees to his chest, fingers went to the hem of his shirt as if the blond wanted to conceal his body entirely. A shameful look crossed his face momentarily. 

“I-I think,” the human breathed, “I think he touches me whenever I sleep. I can feel his hands all over me. And he just-... he killed people I knew, people I talked to, people I accidentally _bumped into_. Every time I wake up, they’re always there-- those severed heads with their mouths sewed, smiling and staring at me. Eyes wide and dead. Just dead. _He_ put them there.”

Kimi appeared stricken by the boy's declaration. 

“I haven’t slept for days,” he added quietly.

Everything Nagachika said was nothing but an imaginative perspective of an exhausted boy. Nishiki refused to believe everything the boy said to be true. It was just too perturbing. 

“Then you should stay here for the night,” Kimi offered the boy. 

(Nishiki cursed inwardly. Kimi and her kindness would be the death of him one day)

Nagachika shook his head. “It’s too dangerous. What if-.”

“Nishiki and I can take care of ourselves, Hideyoshi. Besides, you need sleep and it’s safer here with us.”

Nishiki was about to state otherwise but a soft glare from his lover was enough to cease unnecessary argument from the ghoul. 

Just one night then. Nishiki could deal with that. Whatever unorthodox mindset Nagachika carried with him, he didn't want that anywhere near Kimi.

“Fine. He can stay,” Nishiki relented.

Kimi sent him a grateful smile. Nagachika muffled a small ‘thank you’.

(Nishiki wondered what happened to Anteiku. Why Nagachika was so adamant, insisting how he could no longer go back home to the cafe)

Night found Nishiki straying away from his bed. Kimi was tucked safely under the thick sheet. Nishiki took the passing seconds to lift the soft material to his lover’s chest. A small smile graced his lips.

When he left the bedroom, he had every intention to check on Nagachika. Nishiki might act blatantly aloof around the blond but he, maybe, somehow did care for the human. Albeit only very little.

Nishiki entered the living room.

The sight stopped him.

Nagachika was sleeping on the couch. Figure weary and tired as the blanket pooled around his hips, unheeding of the person sitting down on the floor so close to the boy. 

Nishiki didn't move. 

Eyes roamed ceaselessly on the intruder who didn't bother to acknowledge him. 

A glinting sharp smile on the intruder’s lips as he continued to brush his thumb against Nagachika’s lips. His posture so calmed as if he didn't just break into another ghoul’s nest.

He stepped forward. Nishiki knew this white figure well.

_Kaneki Ken. Goat. Centipede. A monster among monsters. One-Eyed King._

Fuck.

“You are kind,” Centipede spoke. Voice hushed. It took Nishiki seconds to realize the monster was addressing him. 

“Thank you for letting him stay here,” Centipede leaned forward to plant a gentle kiss on Nagachika’s shut eyelids. “He refused to sleep and I was beginning to worry for his deteriorating health.”

Nishiki held his breath. 

The boy didn't stir from his slumber. 

Centipede continued, “He's been avoiding me for months, you see. It's really adorable to see him trying so hard.” Another gentle kiss. This time on the blond’s lips. “I'm sure he terribly misses me just as much as I miss him, probably more. Knowing Hide. He’s just shy. He knows I’m wooing him so he’s being coquettish about it.”

The bespectacled ghoul remained impuissant to the ground like a marionette. It wasn't worth angering a beast he knew he had no chance to win against. 

And he also had Kimi to think about. 

If the monster only wanted to ravish Nagachika, then Nishiki knew there was very little he could do to stop Centipede. 

The white-haired ghoul’s hand roamed to Nagachika’s hips, rubbing at the exposed hips there before his fingers slid lower and lower between the human's legs. Blackened nails tracing the contour of the human’s lower back. 

“He's a lovely creature, my human,” Centipede whispered. He leaned closer, lips a gap away from the human's neck. Centipede inhaled the spot once, twice, like a reaper deprived of its soul as he suckled at the human's chin. 

Nagachika whimpered pathetically in his sleep. 

Nishiki felt dirty watching the whole scene. 

“It's Nishio Nishiki, isn't it?” Centipede stood ever so slowly. One hand curled in the blond’s hair.

“Yes,” he replied. 

“I do not wish to kill anyone tonight but do keep your human away from my human, will you?” the One-Eyed King turned to blink an incomplete kakugan at him. “I'm not fond of others touching my property. I allow your human to live because she's already mated to you. Please do remember my generosity,”

Nishiki bit his lower lip. A rivulet of blood spilled from the open wound. 

“Do you understand?”

“Yes,” he hissed. 

Centipede smiled. Derisive. 

When the monster left, Nishiki exhaled heavily. He swallowed the bile and a wave of ridiculous laughter. Alive after an encounter with the infamous Centipede. _Unbelievable_.

Nagachika sobbed in his sleep, arms went around his thin frame. Like his whole world had just erupted into tiny broken marbles. 

**Ayato**

The second bone was easier to break. 

He took his time not because he wanted to but because his king ordered him to. Ayato kept his gaze on Kaneki, watching as the half-breed reciting old poems that defined love and life in an almost grotesque demeanor. 

The hunter could never hope to understand this monarch he had sworn his loyalty to.

Ayato resumed his duty, shattering another bone. The human in his hold screamed. The ghoul stared at his captive; a barista perhaps, in his now torn and bloodied uniform. His only crime was to show kindness to Kaneki’s Sunflower. 

“Can you believe that he was smiling at Hide?” Kaneki asked, annoyed at the still screeching human.

Ayato shrugged. “Yeah. This guy is a barista. Pretty sure being polite to his customers is one of the rules.”

Kaneki glared at the young ghoul. “Don’t get smart with me, Ayato. This is a heavy matter.”

Ayato grinned. “That’s the truth. If you gonna be territorial of your Hide, then fucking claim him already.” 

“How many times must I tell you; this is a matter of courtship. It must be done courteously. I don’t want Hide to think I'm taking him lightly,” Kaneki sighed, “Doesn’t matter. Just kill that thing, will you?”

Ayato huffed. He turned back to the dying barista and dug his hand into the human’s chest, clenching at the beating heart before he crushed it in his palm. 

That was the ninth human for today. 

“Do we have more?” Ayato asked. He wiped his hands on his jacket. Touka would reprimand him later for that but he couldn't find it in his heart to care.

He had something far more interesting to do now.

“Yes. This one.” 

Kaneki plucked another victim - a woman this time, dressed in a simple yellow dress - from the group of incarcerated humans. Some would serve as nutrients for later on. Some were there simply because they had somehow made a contact with Kaneki’s human. Intentional or not.

“She was braver than most. She touched Hide’s forearm. _Talked_ to him. As if she had the right over what was mine,” Kaneki slipped a finger under the girl’s chin, his smile bordering on a smirk at the girl’s watery face. 

“I didn't know. I didn't know. _Please_ , I'm just his acquaintance. Nothing else,” she pleaded. 

Kaneki’s smiled widened. He broke the chain around her wrists and took the girl’s hands in his, whisking her away for a small dance. Sway, sway, twirl, pirouette, sway.

Ayato rolled his eyes. He didn't know how Touka could understand their king so easily when he barely could keep up with Kaneki, buoyed up by layer after layer of unpredictable emotions. 

“ _Now by his grave he whispers, when I get to the other side, I'll hold your hand through eternity, forever you'll be my beloved_ ,” Kaneki whispered in her ear.

The girl blinked frightfully at him. “W-what?”

“I dream of the day where I finally get to propose to Hide, you see. Make him my blushing groom. I'm sure he'll look as beautiful under a white veil, don't you think?”

Kaneki sidestepped gracefully, dragging his unwilling partner with him. A dance with death.

“Y-yes! Nagachika would- he would like that,” she offered with a trembling tone.

The white-haired ghoul beamed weakly at her.

“I'm sorry for the way I act. You know how a man gets when he's in love,” Kaneki put his chin on the girl's shoulder. “And I'll make sure to remind him of your death when I see him again.”

There were no more words when Kaneki tore at her throat with his teeth. Her body boneless in the king’s arms.

Ayato could only sigh as Kaneki moved to pick his next human.

He hoped Kaneki would just stop playing around with that human of his because they had done nothing for months but watching Kaneki obsessing over Nagachika Hideyoshi. 

It was getting disturbing.

And this coming from a ghoul who tortured people on his daily basis. 

**Hinami**

“I'll talk to him, okay? I'll make sure Hide will come to you so please stop crying,” the girl shushed kindly. In her laps, her big brother hid his face like a lost child. 

“I don't want Hide to hate me, Hinami. I love him so much, with all of my heart,” his voice was wet with tears, muffled by her well-knitted skirt. 

“I know you do,” she smiled, brushing at the silver strands. “I'll talk to him right now. I promise. When I'm done, I'm sure he'll come running to you once he realizes how you truly cherish him.”

Her big brother finally ceased sobbing, eyes blinking dazedly as he looked up at her. Oh, she would do anything for this king of hers. Kaneki Ken had done so much for her. Even reuniting him with his love wouldn't be enough to repay for all the kindness he had shown to her.

“I don't think he likes it when I court him. Hide always tries to run away from me.”

“Silly, big brother. It's because you're doing it wrong. If you love him, just tell him so.”

Her king blushed. “That's too embarrassing, Hinami. What would I do if he rejected me?”

“Well, what would you do?”

Her big brother blinked at the question. “It doesn't matter, isn't it? Hide is still mine. He loves me. He'll die without me.”

Hinami beamed sweetly. “That's true! Anyone would be lucky to be loved by you. I'm sure Hide is shy, too. I'm sure he wants you to tell him in person instead of sending him gifts.”

“You think he doesn't like the decapitated heads and the sliced fingers?”

“Maybe not? That's why you should go to him, ask him, tell him the truth. I'm sure Hide will be delighted,” she chirped happily, "But if you're still shy, I can do it for you instead, big brother. I'll tell him all the poems you've written for him.”

The blush on her king’s face only deepened. 

Her big brother was too adorable for his own good. How could Nagachika Hideyoshi not love him? 

“I'll do it, Hinami. I'll go to Hide.”

She wiped his tears gently. “All right, I wish you all the luck, big brother.”

Her chest swelled with joy when the white-haired ghoul leaned closer to peck her temple, pinching at her cheek lovingly before he stood up and left.

She wished he had confronted Hideyoshi earlier to avoid the pain of missing his beloved human. 

Hinami never really liked seeing her big brother in pain. 

Her only wish now was for Hideyoshi to know how truly blessed he was to have the One-Eyed King’s love. 

**Kaneki**

Kaneki was glad the night was not starless. It was cold though. Merciless breeze against the nocturnal sky. 

It mattered nothing now because Kaneki only had one desire.

He found Hide at an abandoned park. 

After months of watching Hide from afar, it felt like the burden was finally lifted from his chest, weightless on the ground. Months of Kaneki relentlessly courting the human using any means necessary. Months of him protecting Hide from those who wanted nothing else but to steal him from Kaneki. 

And here Hide was - as beautiful as always. 

His human curled under a withered tree, legs stretched long with his back rested on the hard surface. His eyes dimmed. Exhausted. Drained. 

Kaneki was concerned for his human continuously. 

Hide was never one to prioritize his health.

All that would change when he finally became Kaneki’s lover. 

“Hey,” Kaneki softly called out. He brushed a few fallen golden strands from his beloved’s forehead, using the opportunity to kiss the side of Hide’s lips.

His human did nothing but stared blankly at Kaneki. Oddly numbed.

It was as if Hide just melted away, dead to the world. 

Kaneki tilted his head.

“What's wrong, Hide?”

It took Hide several seconds to answer.

“ _You_ what’s wrong” the blond finally rasped. Even his voice was small. Kaneki didn't bring any water with him, unfortunately, to relieve Hide’s throat.

“Me? Why?”

“You're crazy.”

Kaneki laughed kindly. “You made me crazy. I'm so delirious with the thought of having you as mine, of being inside you, of loving you.” 

The ghoul sauntered close to his human, one hand went under Hide’s legs while his other arm encircled the human’s thin waist. He lifted Hide effortlessly from the ground before he claimed the same spot where Hide used to sit, gently easing his human in his laps. 

Kaneki secured his arms around the fragile form of his beloved. 

Hide was too thin. Why wasn't he eating as he should have? Was he too enraptured at the notion of being wooed by Kaneki? Was he at loss for words as Kaneki, too?

Perhaps Hinami was right. 

Perhaps Kaneki was being cruel to his human by depriving Hide of his love. His Sunflower was definitely lost without him.

Without a word, Hide cried in his arms. His body shivered, lung heavy with incoherent gasps whilst Hide continued to break down.

Kaneki cursed at himself. He shouldn't have abandoned Hide. Now his love was clouded with nothing but doubts and pain. So insecure of whether Kaneki still cherished him or not.

The answer was; yes, of course. Kaneki Ken loved Nagachika Hideyoshi in this life, in the next life and the many next lives to come. 

There was never a need for Hide to be unassertive. To be alone ever again. 

“Hush. It's all right now, Hide. I'll never leave you alone from now on. I'll spend the rest of your life loving you and only you,” he kissed Hide’s forehead, neck, and chin, drawing Hide closer into his embrace. 

His Sunflower only cried harder. More lost and disturbed than before. Frightened of something Kaneki could not understand. 

“You need to tell me what's wrong, Hide. Someone you're scared of? Someone I need to kill for you? What's hurting you? _Who’s_ hurting you?”

“You-” Hide said brokenly, “Why did you have to come?”

“Because I missed you, Hide. You know this,” Kaneki wiped the cold tears, taking a long lick of the teardrops.

_Delectable._

Just like Hide.

_“It's your fault.”_

“I know, Hide. Sorry I made you wait for me.”

“I hate you so much. I wish I’ve never met you,” Hide wept. 

“There's no need to jest, Hide. I'm here now, okay?”

“How could you do this to me? You're crazy. _Insane_.”

Kaneki chuckled. “Like I said, you made me like this. I love you, Hide. You know that.”

The human swallowed the pain in his throat and wiped away the wetness in his eyes. When he tried to escape Kaneki’s hold, the ghoul only tightened his hold around his human. 

Kaneki stared at him with tender fondness. 

“You never have to be afraid anymore, Hide. I'll keep you safe. Protected. I have made a room back at our home specifically just for you. Anything you need is in that room. You never have to see anyone but me in your life.”

“Kaneki-” Hide looked at him. Horrified. Kaneki waited, confused. “Kaneki, no. You can't. Please, Kaneki. Please, don't do this to me. _Please_.”

“And why not? Don't you want to be completely mine?”

“I have never wanted--”

“It's all right if you're scared. Is this your first relationship? It's my first, too,” Kaneki admitted shyly, “We can get to know each other along the way. It's going to be fine, Hide. _**All is well**_.”

“No-”

“And we get to make love every night, every morning if you want to. Every minute of our lives.”

“Stop, please. _Stop_.” The rivulets resumed. Hide was a mess in his arms, hurling inarticulate strings of words Kaneki could barely understand. 

And yet here Kaneki was, filled with nothing but all the happiness in the world. To know his beloved was just as nervous as him to consummate their love was invigorating. 

Every curve. Every skin his lips could reach, Kaneki would make sure to mark it until the skin turned red. To scar every inch of Hide’s body with his teeth and claws. To unmake and remake his beloved until all that left was the thought of Kaneki’s breath ghosting the human's body. 

He would overwhelm Hide completely with his affection. 

“Don't cry, Hide. I'm here now.”

“No more, Kaneki. Please. Just let me go,” Hide begged helplessly. 

“I will let you go when we get home, okay?” Kaneki dragged his fingers between the human’s bottom, parting the soft cheeks so he could easily rub the forming hardness in his pants against Hide’s ever welcoming body. 

“ _No! Stop, stop, Kaneki!_ ”

Kaneki groaned when he felt Hide clenching at him desperately. The ghoul held himself back from claiming his human against the earthen floor. He wanted their first time to be momentous. 

Still, for Hide to act so shy around him, his human must be still pure then. A virgin. Hide was worried of what Kaneki might think of him if he found out the blond was inexperience in copulation 

Kaneki smiled at that. Ridiculous. He would love Hide regardless. 

Hide was too precious. Even with all the tears, the boy was the most beautiful creature Kaneki ever had the honor to capture. 

“I'm here for you, Hide.”

“Please just let me go home, Kaneki. _Please_.”

“That's where we're going, Hide. Home.” 

Kaneki bent forward to kiss his human on the lips. The blond’s fingers on Kaneki’s chest moved as if to push the ghoul away but Kaneki knew better. He knew how Hide longed for him terribly. 

To have his love returned by his Sunflower. After all these years. 

“Let's go home, Hide.”

\--


End file.
